The Broken Down View

Casting My Cares...

So, a few nights ago I simply could not sleep. Usually when I can't sleep, I end up turning on the t.v. or computer. I know it's a terrible habit, but I just can't seem to quiet the noise in my head. Reading isn't a good idea for me... because it just promotes more thinking. Now, for some, thinking is usually encouraged, for instance... I 'encourage' my husband to think all the time. But for me, thinking looks a little more like Lewis Carroll meets Tim Burton. My thoughts go dark pretty quickly. It's just my natural tendency.

For example: Here's a conversation that took place between David and I just a few weeks ago, as we were driving home from church.

Me: "Wow! Isn't the sky just glorious?!"
David: " Man, it is! Beautiful!"
Me: "It's perfect. Actually, a little too perfect. Kinda like Truman Show perfect... like we're gonna slam into the wall of life at any moment."

Or another example would be a conversation that I had with my Aunt Rhonda just the other day. She and I are very similar in the ways we think and handle our emotions... not to mention her fabulous sense of style and great sense of humor.
Anyway, she called to congratulate me when she heard that I was pregnant... and not even 5 minutes into the conversation we found ourselves discussing life insurance policies and funeral arrangements. Of course, once I mentioned the irony we found ourselves in... we nearly died laughing. Then I got to congratulate her for happening upon some very valuable 'bloggable' material.

So I guess you get my point. My thoughts just seem to drift to anything morbid or somewhat apocalyptic. And , while I'm shedding a bit of a humorous light on it now, it has been and still is a huge struggle in my life.

So the other night, as I tossed and turned... and mauled over the many issues that I encounter on a daily basis, I remembered the command to 'CAST OUR CARES'. In true 'Jessica Fashion' I even started to over think this simple statement. But I quickly stopped myself from, yet another, rabbit trail and asked the Lord to please take these anxious thoughts from me.
"Whew, I'm glad I thought of that." I said to myself as I rolled back over, closed my eyes and proceeded to maul over the very thoughts I had just asked the Lord to take.
"Wait a minute!" How on earth did this thought find it's way back to me so quickly? Then I started thinking about what it means to 'cast' your cares... and I remembered my grandpa teaching us to fish when we were little.
When he taught us to cast the fishing line... he taught us to throw it out as far and as hard as we could. Of course, it doesn't get very far when you're a beginner, but the more you practice, the better you get at 'casting'.
So this is what I've been doing at nights lately. Practicing. I cast my burdens as far as I can... and as soon as they drift back to me... I do it again. Now, I must admit... sometimes I get tired of all the casting and fishing... and just turn on the tv. But I know that when I do cast my cares... there is someone who is waiting to catch them, because HE CARES.