Give Them Grace...
I woke up this morning and looked at the clock... 7:30. Ahhh! I could hear the rain pleasantly pattering against the windows... and my eighty year old joints were telling me to stay in bed. Besides that... both of my kids were still sleeping, which really made me want to roll back over and finish my dream.
But instead of a cozy morning in my p.j.'s, snuggling with my favorite people, I had something else on the agenda. A parenting seminar that our church was hosting... from 8:30-3:00. I have been somewhat looking forward to it, but mostly going because that's what a 'good mom' would do... right?
My 'inner monologue' was going on and on about all the reasons I had to stay home... and I must say that my inner monologue can be quite convincing. But I rolled out of bed and jumped into the shower despite myself.
As I got out of the shower, I heard Evangeline waking up and getting her morning snuggles in with her daddy. She peeked in my room as I was getting dressed and gave me a big, drooly kiss on the lips... "No mommy go!" she exclaimed quite emphatically, "Mommy stay home... me."
I was still half heartedly getting ready, but still not fully committed to actually going when Doodle started to insist that I go potty. Now, usually I accommodate her, but since I was somewhat distracted, I just told her 'no' and kept getting ready. I believe that's when she started playing in the toilet water.
"Evangeline! No! That's gross! Are we allowed to play in the toilet?" I yell in one panicky breath.
Evangeline throws herself back into one of her typical, but brief tantrums. I scoop her up before she knocks her head on the edge of the tub... and before I can even address the tantrum, she starts hurling herself toward the sink begging to wash her hands. I give in, based on the fact that I haven't had my first cup of coffee this morning or even a simple 'Come to Jesus' moment for myself.
Doodle continues to throw the bath mats aside as she forcefully shoves a chair up to the bathroom sink. I simply give up in defeat and think "Well, at least this will buy me a few more minutes to get ready."
Then ... in a brilliant moment of clarity... as I lean against the bathroom door to catch my breath and slightly relieve the spasms in my back... I look back at , now naked, Doodle... in a hand washing, soap flinging frenzy. All of a sudden, my inner monologue switches her story and suggests that I 'run... not walk' to the nearest parenting seminar 'for heaven's sake!'. My inner monologue and I finally agreed... and that's all it took for me to be fully committed.
I gathered the rest of my things, wished David 'good luck', gave Evangeline a big squeeze as she continued to fling water all over the bathroom... and out the door I went.
Let me tell you... it was totally worth it. One seminar is all it takes... and now I am quite the fabulous mom. Just a few tricks and pointers... Evangeline now keeps all of her clothes on and I'm quite convinced that her tantrum days are over.
Haha... not quite. It was worth it, though. In short, the seminar was all about GRACE. Basically, just the Gospel. What christian parenting is... and what it is NOT. It is not about 'performance'... it's not about acting a certain way. She encouraged us ,as parents, to be content with the fact that we can't make our kids turn out a certain way. We can't 'save them'... only God can do that. She talked about raising kids in a home where they don't have to 'pretend' to be christians. But can freely express their doubts... and to come along beside our kids and let them know that we, as parents, have our doubts and weaknesses as well. That there's little difference between the kids that 'follow the rules' and the kids that 'outwardly rebel'... that they ALL need a Saviour. We ALL need a Saviour.
Honestly, it was so refreshing. How exhausting it could be to feel like you have to be 'a perfect parent'... or your kids will go amuck. Or to be so worried about your child's behavior... that you forget to have fun and enjoy having a relationship with them.
Anyway, I'm probably leaving a lot out... or mixing things up. So check out GIVE THEM GRACE By: Elyse Fitzpatrick
But instead of a cozy morning in my p.j.'s, snuggling with my favorite people, I had something else on the agenda. A parenting seminar that our church was hosting... from 8:30-3:00. I have been somewhat looking forward to it, but mostly going because that's what a 'good mom' would do... right?
My 'inner monologue' was going on and on about all the reasons I had to stay home... and I must say that my inner monologue can be quite convincing. But I rolled out of bed and jumped into the shower despite myself.
As I got out of the shower, I heard Evangeline waking up and getting her morning snuggles in with her daddy. She peeked in my room as I was getting dressed and gave me a big, drooly kiss on the lips... "No mommy go!" she exclaimed quite emphatically, "Mommy stay home... me."
I was still half heartedly getting ready, but still not fully committed to actually going when Doodle started to insist that I go potty. Now, usually I accommodate her, but since I was somewhat distracted, I just told her 'no' and kept getting ready. I believe that's when she started playing in the toilet water.
"Evangeline! No! That's gross! Are we allowed to play in the toilet?" I yell in one panicky breath.
Evangeline throws herself back into one of her typical, but brief tantrums. I scoop her up before she knocks her head on the edge of the tub... and before I can even address the tantrum, she starts hurling herself toward the sink begging to wash her hands. I give in, based on the fact that I haven't had my first cup of coffee this morning or even a simple 'Come to Jesus' moment for myself.
Doodle continues to throw the bath mats aside as she forcefully shoves a chair up to the bathroom sink. I simply give up in defeat and think "Well, at least this will buy me a few more minutes to get ready."
Then ... in a brilliant moment of clarity... as I lean against the bathroom door to catch my breath and slightly relieve the spasms in my back... I look back at , now naked, Doodle... in a hand washing, soap flinging frenzy. All of a sudden, my inner monologue switches her story and suggests that I 'run... not walk' to the nearest parenting seminar 'for heaven's sake!'. My inner monologue and I finally agreed... and that's all it took for me to be fully committed.
I gathered the rest of my things, wished David 'good luck', gave Evangeline a big squeeze as she continued to fling water all over the bathroom... and out the door I went.
Let me tell you... it was totally worth it. One seminar is all it takes... and now I am quite the fabulous mom. Just a few tricks and pointers... Evangeline now keeps all of her clothes on and I'm quite convinced that her tantrum days are over.
Haha... not quite. It was worth it, though. In short, the seminar was all about GRACE. Basically, just the Gospel. What christian parenting is... and what it is NOT. It is not about 'performance'... it's not about acting a certain way. She encouraged us ,as parents, to be content with the fact that we can't make our kids turn out a certain way. We can't 'save them'... only God can do that. She talked about raising kids in a home where they don't have to 'pretend' to be christians. But can freely express their doubts... and to come along beside our kids and let them know that we, as parents, have our doubts and weaknesses as well. That there's little difference between the kids that 'follow the rules' and the kids that 'outwardly rebel'... that they ALL need a Saviour. We ALL need a Saviour.
Honestly, it was so refreshing. How exhausting it could be to feel like you have to be 'a perfect parent'... or your kids will go amuck. Or to be so worried about your child's behavior... that you forget to have fun and enjoy having a relationship with them.
Anyway, I'm probably leaving a lot out... or mixing things up. So check out GIVE THEM GRACE By: Elyse Fitzpatrick
Comments
Norm Wakefield's stuff on grace and parenting is great too. Check him out at Elijah Ministries.com
You are a great mom by the way. If anyone can show their kids grace it is you. You have received much grace my friend. Love you all!