Marshmallows and Dandelions
When you used to ask Evangeline, "Where's Hammie?"... she would quickly reply "Shhh... Hammie sleeping".
The last few times we took Doodle to visit her Great-Great Grandmother... 'Hammie' was only able to sit up for a few minutes before having to get back in bed. Even until her last days, Hammie would sit up and pretend to have a tea party with Evangeline... she would do her best to eat (or hide) every morsel that Doodle would shove in her hand and command her to "Eat Hammie! Yummy!"
Not many people get to witness such a precious sight... A Great-Great Grandmother having a tea party with her Great-Great-Granddaughter. But I have been uncommonly blessed to have witnessed such an event... One of my life's most beautiful moments.
Hammie 'Marylene Hamm' lived a long and healthy life, compared to most. A long, but hard life. She grow up working in the tobacco fields of North Carolina during The Great Depression. She lost her mother at a young age and lost her husband to a long battle of lung cancer when my grandma was just 16. After that, she never lived alone. She spent those early years ,after his death, living with her eldest daughter (my Aunt Geanie) and her family... then spent her later years living with my grandma, here in Norfolk.
Now, I'm sure there are many out there who remember meeting their great grandma once in a nursing home, or going to visit a few times during there childhood. But, once again, I have been uncommonly blessed. Blessed to have endless memories of my dear 'Hammie' in my everyday life. She pushed us around the malls and neighborhoods in our pram when we were little. She even babysat us on occasion. We spent most birthdays and holidays together for as long as I can remember. She sat through years worth of dance recitals and performances... even up until last year. She was at my bridal shower, my wedding and at the hospital the day I had Evangeline.
So, I guess that gives you a better idea of who Hammie was... and why I am so blessed to, not only have met my Great Grandma... but to have truly KNOWN her.
Anyway... these are my recollections of her final weeks here with us...
Eventually, I stopped taking Evangeline to visit Hammie. I don't think Hammie wanted her to see or remember her in such a weak and fragile state.
About a week before Hammie passed away, I went up to visit her at the nursing home where she spent her final year. I took Elliot with me. She had a hard time communicating at that point, but I took him out of his car seat and held him up close to her so she could see him. It took her a while, but finally her bright, blue eyes lit up as they focused on him. She glanced up at me and mouthed the word 'PURDY'.
That was it. So worth all the effort of everything it takes to get your children up to the nursing home for a short visit. I can still see her face in my mind as she mouthed that single word. All the love, wonder and sense of pride that comes in seeing these two precious souls cross paths on this earth so briefly... all in one word... "PURDY". (For any 'northerner's' out there, let me clarify. 'Purdy' is simply the refined, southern word for 'PRETTY').
A few days later, I visited Hammie without the children. We knew she was in her final days. She was 94 years old. She lived a long and healthy life. It was a hard life, but one surrounded by those she loved. Even still, it was hard to let her go.
She sat up for a few brief minutes that day. She seemed uncomfortable and 'in and out' of consciousness. We believed that she was a christian, but it was the sort of thing that she never really discussed. I sensed that she was perhaps a bit fearful of letting go and I wanted to know what she was thinking. I desperately wanted this to be a peaceful transition for her.
So I grabbed her hand... and yelled into her ear so she could hear me clearly. It's kind of funny to imagine my final, shaky words to her echoing through those sterile halls, but I wanted to be sure that she understood me.
"Hammie?! Can you hear me?!" she didn't respond right away, but eventually gripped my hand as tight as ever. I knew she was listening.
"You're going to be with Jesus soon." I yelled at an uncomfortable decibel. "You don't have to be afraid... you're going home!"
She was slumped over in her wheelchair, staring down into her lap. It took her a few seconds, but finally, her eyes wandered up to meet my gaze. She looked deep into my eyes for a brief moment. I knew that she could hear and understand exactly what I was saying. She nodded her head and squeezed my hand even tighter. I went on describing, what I can only imagine heaven must be like. The beautiful gardens of flowers, the people that she'd finally see again... I even recall rambling on and on about very comfy beds and pretty wallpaper. What can I say? It's just what came to mind, so I went with it.
Our family gathered around and prayed that her transition would be peaceful and that she wouldn't be afraid. We sang to her... "I'll fly Away". I remember visiting many nursing homes when I was younger... all of the old people just loved that hymn. They wanted to sing it every time we visited. We sang it to Hammie that night. I kissed her and told her that I'd see her soon. It was the last time I'd see her on this earth.
A few days later, Hammie went home to be with the Lord... peacefully and in her sleep.
If you ask Evangeline now... "Where's Hammie?" She'll playfully say, "Sleeping? No! Hammie's with Jesus!"
She doesn't understand now, but someday she will.
We buried Hammie back in her earthly home town of Walnut Cove, North Carolina. It was a beautiful monday afternoon. I had the privilege of reading some beautiful words about Hammie, written by my mom ... who put me on the spot last minute by handing me a folded piece of paper and tearfully saying "I can't do it."
I think I nervously cracked a few jokes... but I'm thankful that I got to honor her in that way. I packed a few 'emergency snacks' for Doodle, because Lord only knows the kinda trouble you can get into at a funeral.
At the graveside, Elliot was an angel... and Evangeline kept everyone entertained by passing out marshmallows and picking dandelions.
This friday would've been Hammie's 95th Birthday... If you remember her, please leave a comment... one word that best described her.
The last few times we took Doodle to visit her Great-Great Grandmother... 'Hammie' was only able to sit up for a few minutes before having to get back in bed. Even until her last days, Hammie would sit up and pretend to have a tea party with Evangeline... she would do her best to eat (or hide) every morsel that Doodle would shove in her hand and command her to "Eat Hammie! Yummy!"
Not many people get to witness such a precious sight... A Great-Great Grandmother having a tea party with her Great-Great-Granddaughter. But I have been uncommonly blessed to have witnessed such an event... One of my life's most beautiful moments.
Hammie 'Marylene Hamm' lived a long and healthy life, compared to most. A long, but hard life. She grow up working in the tobacco fields of North Carolina during The Great Depression. She lost her mother at a young age and lost her husband to a long battle of lung cancer when my grandma was just 16. After that, she never lived alone. She spent those early years ,after his death, living with her eldest daughter (my Aunt Geanie) and her family... then spent her later years living with my grandma, here in Norfolk.
Now, I'm sure there are many out there who remember meeting their great grandma once in a nursing home, or going to visit a few times during there childhood. But, once again, I have been uncommonly blessed. Blessed to have endless memories of my dear 'Hammie' in my everyday life. She pushed us around the malls and neighborhoods in our pram when we were little. She even babysat us on occasion. We spent most birthdays and holidays together for as long as I can remember. She sat through years worth of dance recitals and performances... even up until last year. She was at my bridal shower, my wedding and at the hospital the day I had Evangeline.
So, I guess that gives you a better idea of who Hammie was... and why I am so blessed to, not only have met my Great Grandma... but to have truly KNOWN her.
Anyway... these are my recollections of her final weeks here with us...
Eventually, I stopped taking Evangeline to visit Hammie. I don't think Hammie wanted her to see or remember her in such a weak and fragile state.
About a week before Hammie passed away, I went up to visit her at the nursing home where she spent her final year. I took Elliot with me. She had a hard time communicating at that point, but I took him out of his car seat and held him up close to her so she could see him. It took her a while, but finally her bright, blue eyes lit up as they focused on him. She glanced up at me and mouthed the word 'PURDY'.
That was it. So worth all the effort of everything it takes to get your children up to the nursing home for a short visit. I can still see her face in my mind as she mouthed that single word. All the love, wonder and sense of pride that comes in seeing these two precious souls cross paths on this earth so briefly... all in one word... "PURDY". (For any 'northerner's' out there, let me clarify. 'Purdy' is simply the refined, southern word for 'PRETTY').
A few days later, I visited Hammie without the children. We knew she was in her final days. She was 94 years old. She lived a long and healthy life. It was a hard life, but one surrounded by those she loved. Even still, it was hard to let her go.
She sat up for a few brief minutes that day. She seemed uncomfortable and 'in and out' of consciousness. We believed that she was a christian, but it was the sort of thing that she never really discussed. I sensed that she was perhaps a bit fearful of letting go and I wanted to know what she was thinking. I desperately wanted this to be a peaceful transition for her.
So I grabbed her hand... and yelled into her ear so she could hear me clearly. It's kind of funny to imagine my final, shaky words to her echoing through those sterile halls, but I wanted to be sure that she understood me.
"Hammie?! Can you hear me?!" she didn't respond right away, but eventually gripped my hand as tight as ever. I knew she was listening.
"You're going to be with Jesus soon." I yelled at an uncomfortable decibel. "You don't have to be afraid... you're going home!"
She was slumped over in her wheelchair, staring down into her lap. It took her a few seconds, but finally, her eyes wandered up to meet my gaze. She looked deep into my eyes for a brief moment. I knew that she could hear and understand exactly what I was saying. She nodded her head and squeezed my hand even tighter. I went on describing, what I can only imagine heaven must be like. The beautiful gardens of flowers, the people that she'd finally see again... I even recall rambling on and on about very comfy beds and pretty wallpaper. What can I say? It's just what came to mind, so I went with it.
Our family gathered around and prayed that her transition would be peaceful and that she wouldn't be afraid. We sang to her... "I'll fly Away". I remember visiting many nursing homes when I was younger... all of the old people just loved that hymn. They wanted to sing it every time we visited. We sang it to Hammie that night. I kissed her and told her that I'd see her soon. It was the last time I'd see her on this earth.
A few days later, Hammie went home to be with the Lord... peacefully and in her sleep.
If you ask Evangeline now... "Where's Hammie?" She'll playfully say, "Sleeping? No! Hammie's with Jesus!"
She doesn't understand now, but someday she will.
We buried Hammie back in her earthly home town of Walnut Cove, North Carolina. It was a beautiful monday afternoon. I had the privilege of reading some beautiful words about Hammie, written by my mom ... who put me on the spot last minute by handing me a folded piece of paper and tearfully saying "I can't do it."
I think I nervously cracked a few jokes... but I'm thankful that I got to honor her in that way. I packed a few 'emergency snacks' for Doodle, because Lord only knows the kinda trouble you can get into at a funeral.
At the graveside, Elliot was an angel... and Evangeline kept everyone entertained by passing out marshmallows and picking dandelions.
This friday would've been Hammie's 95th Birthday... If you remember her, please leave a comment... one word that best described her.
Comments
When I think of Hammie, I think of how she acted when Jim was around. It was so interesting to try to decipher whether she hated him or thought he was neat. And then, it was equally as interesting to wonder what she thought of Jake. It was the same puzzle. I know for certain she never had much use for me, but I so enjoyed how she interacted with the men in my life! She was THE definition of feisty, feisty, feisty...
It must be such a delight for you to see that feisy-ness in your dear little girlie. Hammie would be SO very proud of her!!!
From (miss) tiffanee
Fast forward to Reed a few years later... same frown... 'big baby... why on earth is such a big baby sitting in his mother's lap'?
@Miss Tiff... very true. She never passed up an opportunity to give her '2 cents'. Guess it runs in the family:)
Cynthia
i could go on and on... i really miss her.
thanks for writing this sis.