Good Advice...
"I give myself some very good advice... but I very seldom follow it."
This is one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies, Alice in Wonderland. The Disney version, of course.
I must admit that I'm really regretting my most recent post. The 'jail cell' one. I seemed to go on and on about some nonsense... something about 'resting where God has you'. What was I thinking?! That's really hard to do. Maybe I could just wallow for a while? Or take back those words?
Or I guess I could just admit that I don't always practice what I preach. This has definitely been a 'jail cell' weekend.
The excruciating pain in my back and legs are the bars that separate me from the outside world... especially this weekend. The weather has a lot to do with it. My bones feel it coming. Sometime earlier this week, I tossed and turned trying to get into a comfortable position. I yelled out in frustration to my dear husband... "Is it raining outside?!"
"No... it's beautiful out." he responded.
"No... there's something wrong. I feel insane." Of course we both laugh because I am a bit crazy and dramatic. But I wasn't joking. Nothing was helping the pain in my legs. It was one of the times where I just wanted to cut myself so I could FEEL something other than the pain in my legs. Usually cutting is a temptation I deal with when I'm angry or frustrated, but I just needed to feel something different that night.
I didn't cut. It helps that David knows how I feel and that it isn't some secret I'm keeping.
Anyway... it has been a horrible week... pain-wise. And now it makes perfect sense after the cold and rainy weather that eventually came and proved to me and my achy bones that we're not completely insane.
So, what was all that hype about places of rest and trusting in God? Oh yes... trusting in God. Trusting that He knew my pain would keep me from going on a fun date this weekend or taking Elliot to a birthday party. Trusting that my husband won't grow to resent me when he hears of all the things 'all the other wive's' do for their families. Trusting that he will carry me through the days after those long, sleepless nights.
O.k. perhaps I don't totally regret my recent post. I just need to take my own advice, even when it's tough. So I apologize if my latest post was a bit too poetic and fluffy... as if Trusting God is a frolic through a meadow of daffodils... it's not, trusting God can be tough @%#^...
Man... I can really get on my own nerves sometimes. I'm glad I set myself straight. Thanks for listening.
This is one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies, Alice in Wonderland. The Disney version, of course.
I must admit that I'm really regretting my most recent post. The 'jail cell' one. I seemed to go on and on about some nonsense... something about 'resting where God has you'. What was I thinking?! That's really hard to do. Maybe I could just wallow for a while? Or take back those words?
Or I guess I could just admit that I don't always practice what I preach. This has definitely been a 'jail cell' weekend.
The excruciating pain in my back and legs are the bars that separate me from the outside world... especially this weekend. The weather has a lot to do with it. My bones feel it coming. Sometime earlier this week, I tossed and turned trying to get into a comfortable position. I yelled out in frustration to my dear husband... "Is it raining outside?!"
"No... it's beautiful out." he responded.
"No... there's something wrong. I feel insane." Of course we both laugh because I am a bit crazy and dramatic. But I wasn't joking. Nothing was helping the pain in my legs. It was one of the times where I just wanted to cut myself so I could FEEL something other than the pain in my legs. Usually cutting is a temptation I deal with when I'm angry or frustrated, but I just needed to feel something different that night.
I didn't cut. It helps that David knows how I feel and that it isn't some secret I'm keeping.
Anyway... it has been a horrible week... pain-wise. And now it makes perfect sense after the cold and rainy weather that eventually came and proved to me and my achy bones that we're not completely insane.
So, what was all that hype about places of rest and trusting in God? Oh yes... trusting in God. Trusting that He knew my pain would keep me from going on a fun date this weekend or taking Elliot to a birthday party. Trusting that my husband won't grow to resent me when he hears of all the things 'all the other wive's' do for their families. Trusting that he will carry me through the days after those long, sleepless nights.
O.k. perhaps I don't totally regret my recent post. I just need to take my own advice, even when it's tough. So I apologize if my latest post was a bit too poetic and fluffy... as if Trusting God is a frolic through a meadow of daffodils... it's not, trusting God can be tough @%#^...
Man... I can really get on my own nerves sometimes. I'm glad I set myself straight. Thanks for listening.
Comments