Unexpected Tears...


I know it's not a very flattering term. But when it comes to crying, I can tend to be a bit 'emotionally constipated'... as they say.
I don't cry very easily. I guess lately I just haven't had time to be sad. But this week has been a different story. I guess I've held back one too many tears... so, over the past week, I've been caught off guard on many occasions. Go ahead and laugh... some are quite humorous.

1) Lorelei and Luke breaking up on a recent rerun of Gilmore Girls.

2) Watching the beginning of Happy Feet with Doodle bug... when all the eggs hatch at the same time, one doesn't. First, I cried because the egg didn't hatch... but I didn't remember that finally it does... so when it did, I was overwhelmed with happiness for that poor daddy penguin.

3)My 'ESPRESSO LOVE' mug broke... I got it on our honeymoon.

4)That crazy Sarah Maclachlan 'Save the animals' commercial. It really got to me this week.

5)The monkeys at the zoo this weekend. They just seemed so peaceful and happy. I teared up a little.

6) Checking my email today and getting the notification that I'm 10 weeks pregnant and my baby is the size of a kumquat.

7)A friend of mine emailing me to let me know that she read my blog about losing the baby... and she was crying at her desk at work. Which at first made me cry, but then I started to laugh at the thought of people 'tuning in' to my blog because it's usually pretty light and humorous... then getting slapped in the face with a sad post that they weren't expecting.

8) Searching the fridge and realizing there is no cream for my coffee.

9)I came across this picture today. David took it after I told him we were pregnant. We were in Edenton together... a perfect evening.

I imagine that sadness and grief, no matter how overwhelming or minute, can tend to sneak up on us at humorous or inopportune times. But if you've ever been constipated, emotional (or otherwise)... you must learn to take the opportunity when it comes.

NOTE TO SELF: Please don't venture into the delicate world of 'bathroom humor' again... it's just too risky... although this analogy was just too good to pass up.

Comments

Anonymous said…
ooooh i just had one of those "where is this coming from??" cries the other night. i like to blame it on the (slight) fever i had. :) josh was up here to propose & i promptly came down with a cold & was sick. the whole weekend i was laid out with snot-packed sinuses, a head that felt like it was on the verge of exploding, & a fever. he was beyond a servant the whole weekend (side note: that alone was humbling & made me cry because i knew i would not have been so thoughtful & serving). one night as he tucked me in & stroked my hair while waiting for me to fall asleep before leaving for the night, my mind wandered to us 50+ (i hope) years down the road, and how this was a shadow of what he would be like if i were dying. how morbid is that???? i had tears streaming down my face from being overwhelmed at how sad that picture was. it's like, seriously, where does this stuff come from?! i also teared up when i was couldn't get a jar open. that had already been opened before. quite tragic. thanks for & love your honesty & humor! love, biz
Anonymous said…
I have cried or cried today at 2-9. Really, I'm at a loss, all I can say is I love you girl. - Rebekah M.
Anonymous said…
p.s. i want to add that i know & understand you are not crying "just for no reason", so i hope what i wrote doesn't come across as insensitive/clueless...i didn't mean it that way... just sympathizing how things can build and come out in random, unexpected ways. thinking about you & praying that the Lord will continue to bring healing even if it is through a release of "constipated tears". love, biz
Jessica Rockey said…
Biz! Not insensitive at all... I laughed at the thought of you crying about the jar.
I once had an emotional breakdown because my brother ate my chicken nuggets that I hid in the fridge. Tears can be cleansing... so cry away:)

I read a devotion once about God using the 'tears' in our lives to soften the ground of our hearts for the seed that He is planting... some of the fruit we won't see for years, but He is preparing us now.

Please comment freely here:) It takes a lot to offend me... so don't worry. I really do appreciate you taking the time to write.

P.S. I'm so happy for you. Enjoy your engagement. It's such a unique time of anticipation that you can never get back.
Anonymous said…
I cry much easier these days too. maybe the heart has softened over the years. The thoughts of almost loosing my Bekah 27 years ago tomorrow and how God spared that soul for a purpose makes me cry all over again...so here's to the flow of tears as I think back on her birth day.
Wendy said…
My favorite was the mug. And just so you know I can relate...I cried when my Mator key chain broke (yes the character from Cars). Then I cried again when Charlie got me another one for my birthday! Love it my dear friend. Bring on the tears :-)
Jennifer said…
You are not alone in your shedding of tears. I wish I could pass you a Starbucks caramel macchiatto and a box of Kleenex (not generic tissues but the real deal with the aloe or lotion or something to make them super soft).

I cried after seeing a movie on cancer. I hadn't cried in a long time. It damn near broke my heart. It was too "close to home" for me.

I love you.
Jessica Rockey said…
Jenn! Maybe I should share my story of crying through 'My Sister's Keeper'... total ugly cry... it was awful. You should probably wait a good 20 years before watching that one. Love you friend.
Mary Ewbank said…
OH my goodness Jessica! my favorite was the 'no cream for the coffee' that is defenatly a tragedy! i would've started balling too:) Your not alone! i love you and will continue to pray dearest one. always know that God is ALWAYS there..........annnnd coffee is always there too! hehe.

love you girl! xoxoxo

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