Potty Training... what NOT to do.

Recently, a friend wrote and asked me for some potty training advice. Her oldest son seems to have a lot in common with Evangeline, so I guess she thought I could give her some tips. Of course, I had to chuckle at the thought. I don't even think I'd give my worst enemy my tips on potty training. But I decided to write her back anyway, and at least tell her what I thought would be good advice, not necessarily what I did... more like what I didn't do. So I sit down at my computer to try and gather a few thoughts... just then, Doodle streaks through the room yelling... "It's coming! It's coming! I need privacy!" 

I continue to type. Seriously, if I jumped up at every dramatic 'potty moment'... I would never get anything done. Besides, If she really needs to 'go'... she will either go on the potty by herself or put her own diaper on and 'finish her business'. I know, I know... mother of the year award... right?

Anyway... where was I? Oh... potty training advice. Let's see... My child goes potty when she feels like it. She pees in her pants when she feels like it. She changes her own diaper when she feels like it. The problem isn't total lack of supervision... the problem is this girl can run circles around me, even on my very best day.

So I think of the exact opposite of what I did... and that's my advice. It's all so obvious when put into words... especially with all of the 'unruly toddler' pictures to drive my point home further.

Grandmas and moms of older children will tell you this without hesitation... "They won't walk down the aisle in a diaper." So why do we as 'young moms' think we have a better way of going about things?  "Oh my gosh... my child is 18 months old! I have to start potty training!" ... or "this book says such and such"...

So here's my advice. Do you have an easy going, compliant child? If yes... then go for it! Maybe it's your first child and you want to start holding them over the potty at 6 months? ...if that's how you want to spend your time, then go for it!

Some kids are 'people pleasers' and pick it up in a couple of days, but if not... guess what? It's ok!

My child happens to be a handful... a free spirit... not a people pleaser... and very defiant. So it finally hit me as I sat down to give advice to a friend. If your child can't obey a simple command... "Let's go potty before we get in the car"... then why in the world am I going through all of this?! Maybe it'd be understandable if she was my only child... but we've got number three on the way and I'd rather sing songs and tickle her as I change her huge size 5 diapers, instead of constantly disciplining her for her behavior.

So that's my advice for the day. No matter how old your child is... if you're starting to feel that pressure from people around you... or even from yourself... stop and make sure that it's the right decision for you and your little one before you make it a source of constant stress and battles. 

I know diapers can be expensive... but my sanity comes at a high cost as well. Like I told my fabulous and understanding husband the other day... an extra year in diapers still costs less than that rehab spa in Arizona...