Slipping off my Soapbox...

Warning... If you're not ready for raw and deep... then please don't read. Seriously, you will definitely leave this post with the idea that I'm quite prudish ( which my husband would definitely disagree with)... Or that I'm just a bit off my rocker ( which is a bit closer to the truth) although, I believe, not in this case.

Oh my gosh. I love Beyonce. Really. She is quite the entertainer. My sis and I went to a Destiny's Child concert a few years back... We trampled through the parking lot in a heard of fabulously decked out chocolate women... we like to consider ourselves 'white chocolate' sometimes. These Beyonce fans were SERIOUS. They wore their slippers through the treacherous fields surrounding the amphitheater with stilettos in hand. At the entrance of the stadium , they transformed into a Beyonce-worthy crowd... and rocked the concert as if they were the ones on stage. I really wished we would've gotten the memo that night. We could've stepped up the 'fabulous', no problem. But, unfortunately, our white stood out more than our chocolate...

Anyway... It was seriously the most fun concert ever. I'm a fan... and as a fan I was so excited about the Super Bowl half time show this year...

Before I get back to our fabulous half time show... Let me take you down another path...

I have always been very spiritually sensitive. I'm sure some of it came from growing up in a household where we weren't allowed to watch Bewitched ( obviously because of the witch;). I had a Smurf birthday party when I was 2, but as soon as my mom learned that Gargamel practiced 'black magic' I wasn't allowed to watch that either. So I guess you could say that I was raised to be 'spiritually sensitive'.
But it seemed to go beyond that.

My mom said that at a very early age, I would look at her and tell her, "We need to pray for that lady... she has a demon."
 What?! I would totally freak out if Evangeline said that to me. But my mom said that I would just mention it casually to her and keep moving.
There was even a time when I was about 6 or 7 and our church was having one of those big, old-school 'Revival Tent Meetings'. My parent's were nonchalantly discussing, over dinner, whether or not we should attend the service that night and I remember very clearly, letting them know that we shouldn't go because the tent was about to collapse... and the next morning we found out that, indeed, the tent had collapsed that night during the meeting.
It wasn't some mystical sense of foresight or physic powers. It was just a simple intuition. And I would make the argument that I was not very unique. It seems to me that the sensitive minds and spirits of children can pick up on things the 'we adults' have been gradually desensitized to.

For instance... the other day, I was watching a Disney moving with Evangeline. And at one point she hid her face and told me it was bad. Now, no one has ever told her that part was bad or scary, in fact, I've watched that very part with her on many occasions and it never seemed to bother her. But that particular day something inside of her recognized it as 'bad and scary'. And how do I respond to my child's sensitive conscience?

"Oh baby, it's o.k. It's not that scary... it's just pretend."

My intent was to make her feel better... but I'm afraid I simply invalidated her concern and even tried to 'desensitize' her to something that was very clearly bothering her.

We all came into this world very impressionable, yet with a basic sense of right and wrong. How many of you remember taking something that didn't belong to you when you were young? (another recent event in our home... but I won't mention any names;) Many people can remember taking that bubble gum from the store without paying... and eventually being made to take it back and apologize.

What about the very first time you heard the f-word in a movie? Your heart kinda skips a beat as you look around and make sure your mom's not lurking in the background.
Then next thing you know... you go to 'a great movie' with a group of christian friends... and when you get home you are informed by your faithful mother who stayed up all night trying to figure out how to turn the computer on and get to that 'movie website for overprotective parents' and print out a copy of every detail of the 'great movie' you just sat through.
"By the way... they used the word 'f*&^' 43 times in that movie..."
What? How did I not notice that?

Or what about the first time you saw a sex scene in a movie? Or pushed the boundaries with your boyfriend? Remember that first twinge of guilt? That sensitivity of conscience?
Then, next thing you know... the scenes on the big screen aren't a 'big deal'... and you're having sex with your boyfriend because you're 'planning on' getting engaged.

I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad for watching certain movies... or even make a point about pre-marital sex.  What I am talking about is a dulling of the conscience... or the desensitization of the war that rages against our souls.

War? (yes... I know I just lost many of you there. Please be patient with me). Yes... we are in a war. I made the 'mistake' of praying for something a few weeks ago. I prayed and asked the Lord to open my eyes to the way He sees the world... I want to see what's going on in the spiritual world. As I prayed that I imagined glorious dreams and visions... and great things to write about on my blog.
Well... I believe He has begun to do that for me... but not quite in the way I had imagined. I don't think I was prepared for the darkness that I would encounter in the corners of this world that have become so comfortable to me.

My soul has been very heavy with the sense of spiritual darkness. I haven't been scared, just a heightened awareness of the 'Unseen Realities' that are going on around us.

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers of the air, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."
Ephesians 6:12

I've always had the desire to understand this passage in Ephesians more clearly. I mean... It's very common for most people to believe in an 'invisible God'... to believe in guardian angels that we can't see ... or to believe in a place called heaven. These things are wonderful...  not necessarily easy to believe, but comfortable to believe.
But what about hell? The Bible speaks about hell and fallen angels (or demons), but honestly who wants to think of that? It can seem a bit morbid, creepy... or at the very least, 'nutty'.
But the Bible speaks of an Enemy that is prowling like a lion, seeking someone to devour (I Peter 5:8).
That's scary stuff. But somehow... we tend to pick and choose which parts of the Bible to believe... or at least which parts we prefer to dwell on.

Of course, the Bible also refers to our own 'enemy within'... the sinful nature that we're all born with, but for those of us who are Believer's, we are no longer slaves to our sinful nature. Paul explains to us that our flesh continues to 'wage war' against our spirit (Galations 5:17) ... but, as christians, we are being sanctified in the process, being made more like Christ.

Now, this is where things get tricky. I know I'm wading into deep waters, so grab the nearest flotation device...

It seems clear, that if one believes in the validity of the Bible as the word of God, that there is a war going on. We can't see it clearly... but I believe we are seeing the direct effects of this war. When the Bible warns us that there is an Enemy seeking to devour... we should believe it. When God tell us that our battle isn't against 'flesh and blood' (or mortal enemies)... we need to believe Him.

It makes sense to think that if there is a war going on against 'principalities and spiritual darkness in high places' ... then the 'Enemy of our soul' must be very serious. He must have a strategy. What is his strategy?

I believe it is different depending on which 'kingdom' you're in. In our country, we have had the privilege of religious freedom. Christians have been able to worship openly without fear of persecution. Persecution is something the Enemy has used in other kingdoms worldwide...

If you're being persecuted, then the Enemy is clear. But what if the Enemy is seducing us? What if He slowing starts to win us over by desensitizing us to evil? What happens when the Enemy of our souls, no longer looks like an enemy?

We stop fighting.

I am just realizing that, although I've been walking closely with the Lord for quite some time... I haven't been battling as if Souls are on the line.

The thousands of little souls that once cringed with embarrassment the first time they witnessed a gorgeous blond lock lips with a young, red faced boy... become ensnared and addicted to pornography just a few short years later.

The young souls that hid their faces from the scary witch in a Disney movie... now flock to watch movies about vampires and werewolves.

The young boys and girls that think promiscuity is just another way to express oneself.

The young men that are told they must be gay if they prefer reading a novel to throwing a football.

The mother's that feel like failure's if they aren't at the gym everyday and back into skinny jeans and stilettos after having 2 kids.

The men that carelessly neglect  real sexual intimacy with their wives, for the sexual illusions on their computers.

Christians that blend in so much with the world around us... that we become lost in it. Somehow we've forgotten that we're in a battle.

If I try to imagine a battlefield... I imagine passionate people fighting for a cause. There are two very differing opinions... two clear sides.

So back to the Super Bowl halftime show...
Beyonce did a fabulous job. She is an amazing entertainer. I'm a huge fan.

"Oh my gosh, she looks amazing!" someone in the room pointed out, as my 3 year old daughter sat in her lap. "And she just had a baby!"

I look down at the pudge around my own waste. I just had a baby... and my look is far from 'amazing'. I don't have time to work out... when I do find the time, my back gives out on me. I sacrifice all I have to care for my children... and Beyonce looks amazing. My heart sinks a little...
I want to look amazing. Wait... how did I fall into that trap so quickly? What do I value? A body that looks amazing to the world? Or a body that does amazing things like enduring day after day caring for 3 kids without completely breaking down?

What should be amazing in our eyes? What should be praiseworthy? Valuable?

Now, before you're tempted to write me off completely as a judgemental, prudish christian... Can I share something with you?

I actually enjoyed the halftime show... or at least most of it. There was a major battle taking place in my heart for those few amazingly entertaining moments. My flesh enjoyed it... I wanted to dance along and I knew every word. I tried to tell myself that 'it was just worse because of the camera angles'. Or... 'man, I wish she would've chosen a different costume'... but the truth is... I am desensitized...

We live in a 'kingdom' infused with sensuality and sexuality. Just stop and notice next time you turn on the t.v. If you were to magically transport a follower of Christ from biblical times.... or even someone from 50 years ago... and place them directly in the middle of the halftime show... they would immediately identify it as 'evil'. And they might even wonder why everyone is cheering.

Beyonce is not the problem. The problem is that we've forgotten that there's an enemy. We've forgotten that we're living on a battlefield. The Enemy sees something worth fighting for... sex seems like a great place to attack. Something that God created for intimacy and pleasure... the Enemy can pervert the original intention and turn it into something that destroys.

It was interesting to see the many responses on facebook the night of the Super Bowl... but the one thing that stuck out to me was that no one had a mediocre response to the halftime show. No one shrugged their shoulders and said "Ehh... Beyonce was o.k." It was interesting to see words like 'amazing' from some people while others described it as 'garbage or disgusting'. I think we can all agree that it was a powerful and dynamic performance... very moving. But moving in which direction?

Our world likes to be edgy... push the envelope. If it's not provocative... it doesn't make the headlines. I was disgusted by something that night.. but it wasn't Beyonce. It was my flesh waging war against the spirit inside of me. It was my first and raw response to the blatant and overt sexuality. I liked it... and for some reason, as a christian, I didn't immediately identify it as evil.

Something terrified me that night. The idea that in just a few short years... my little boy will burn with curiosity about sex and sensuality. But he won't have to go far to find these sexual imagines. He won't have to sneak to the back of a drugstore to look at risque magazines... these images will be thrown at him... as he's sitting on a couch next to his father, eating popcorn. In a room with his mom... surrounded by christian aunts and uncles... and no one changes the channel.

Dear Lord... please forgive me for my apathy. For being dazzled by this world. For being gently swayed and seduced by things you call evil. Thank you for answering my prayer and opening my eyes to something I was blind to. 

Please don't feel judged by me if you enjoyed the halftime show... I can totally relate. And I'm not even trying to persuade you that I'm completely right regarding this topic. I am simply sharing a transformation that has been going on in my heart. If you consider yourself a christian... I'm not asking you to start wearing turtlenecks and fast-forwarding Superbowl commercials. Simply cry out to the Lord and ask Him to show you the dark pockets of the world that you have settled for... and even started to enjoy.
If you are a christian and were disgusted by the sexual immorality disguised as entertainment... then praise the Lord for opening your eyes. But that does not exempt you from the war. In what ways does the Enemy of your soul dazzle you with things of this world?

 As Christians... we need to stop sending mixed messages... it's strange to me that many Christians are disgusted by homosexuality and blatant or vulgar sexuality... yet our churches our filled young women that looked like they just stepped off the runway. What do we value?
It seems strange to me that young christian men will joke and mock the young men of this world that have been ensnared by homosexuality... while closeting their own version of lust and sexual immorality and treating it as an 'acceptable struggle or sin'.
There is no acceptable sin before the eyes of the Lord... our 'christian sins' are just as filthy as the worldly sins that disgust us.

So let me step off my soap box... before I slip off. I have been that christian on so many occasions. I have leaned on my own understanding instead of crying out to the Lord for Holiness. I have propped my feet up and sipped a latte in the midst of the battle.

We are at war...
We will not overcome the 'darkness of this world and spiritual authorities' with modesty checklists (although they can be helpful;) and legalistic rules... just to use a few 'christian-ese terms'. We will not overcome the Enemy of our souls by becoming friends with him. We can not be 'salt and light' to the world if we 'look and taste' just like them. We can not put sin to death by pointing out a speck in other's eyes and not taking the log out of our own... but we will overcome this world by clothing ourselves with the Armor of God and walking in the Spirit ... By engaging in the battle that is raging around us...