Facebook is a battleground...
Loving others...
"Above all these... put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."
Colossians 3:14
Christians on facebook. This topic has stirred around in my spirit for quite some time. Sometimes I feel like we need a facebook 'rule book' of some sort... then I'm reminded of how we, as humans, let alone Christians... seem to historically have trouble following the rules. I mean... that's why Christ came, right? Because no one... not even the most righteous could ever follow all the rules...
So then, I ask the Holy Spirit to dwell in me... and teach my heart to 'follow the rules of grace'... especially under the 'facebook microscope'. I haven't always done this. I've cracked funny jokes at other's expense. I've offended people with my sense of humor. I have rolled my eyes at the way different people choose to express themselves with their status updates.
I have tried to just ignore the things that seem to 'rub me the wrong way'... but is that what I should be doing? I'm not sure...
I think that instead of ignoring things that annoy me and treating that as 'a sanctifying process' in my own life. Perhaps I should have been going to the Lord and wrestling with these topics.
"Lord... why is this so irritating to me? Is it simply because I'm still sinful and being refined? ... My pride and judgmental tendencies being put to death?" Yes... I think that's part of it.
But lately, the Lord has been prodding my heart to go deeper. Yes... certain things might annoy you on facebook. Yes, you are still sinful and being refined. But perhaps there's more. More that the Holy Spirit wants to do than sanctify us in our own little bubble. He wants to sanctify His Church as a whole. Which means we need to look at these things together. We need to start identifying the things that we are doing as the body of Christ that are not glorifying to God. Because I believe the stakes are much higher than ever. We are under a microscope.
I asked my friends to 'like' my status this morning, just so I could get an idea of how many people see the words that I write. It takes us a few seconds to post a status or a picture... then we go about our day. So over the course of my day, over 100 people saw my status. And that's on a Tuesday during the day... I'm assuming a pretty slow time in the world of facebook. Now, had my words been foolish (as I'm sure has been the case before)... that many people... friends, family,acquaintances, Christians and non-Christians, gay, straight, some that live two houses down... and some that live across the world... would've been affected by my words as I was simply going about my day. Wiping noses, making smoothies, reading to my kids... and my words are out there. Are my words (even pictures) breathing life... or throwing huge stones in the paths of others to trip on?
Just a decade or two ago things were much simpler. Let's see... In 1995 I was 15. If I wanted to get a group of friends together for my birthday I wrote out a few invitations. Now, the 'Rickards' Parties' were usually a come one come all mentality. But on occasion I would want to do something that would require that I limit the number of friends I was allowed to invite. I would always agonize about the possibility of hurt feelings or someone feeling left out... and I'm sure that over the course of my childhood that must've happened occasionally. But that's life... right? We've all had to deal with hurt feelings before. However, my mom would remind us not to talk about our fun plans in front of others that weren't invited. She wanted us to be aware of how our plans either made people feel included or excluded. Uplifted or exiled. She wanted us to simply be aware of those around us.
Fast forward to life in 2013. Many parties are planned on facebook. I know these invites can include hundreds of people... and many people do extend that 'more the merrier' mentality. But I think we should be MORE AWARE. Aware of the small birthday dinners where one or two people are left out... or even our typical groups we hang out with. There are lonely people in our midst...
I remember talking to a younger friend of mine who wasn't invited to a particular event that the majority of her friends had been invited to.
I remember thinking... 'well, you can't force people to invite you'... and I even defended the group by telling her, 'well, you really haven't been that close to 'so-and-so' lately'. But the truth was... she was hurt... and that made me sad. Sad that the only reason she even knew about the party was because her instagram and facebook feeds were flooded with images of many of her good friends all dressed up and out on the town together. Sad to learn that she had even asked a few a her friends what they were up to earlier that evening... and all she received was awkward silence.
If the truth be known... I'm sure these situations are happening on facebook everyday... among Christians. We are supposed to be known by our love for one another... yet we are hurting each other. I can say this boldly without fear of being pointed out as hypocritical... because I'm telling you I have done this. It was not my intention, but a few weeks ago I mentioned a 'girls night out' on my facebook status and tagged a few friends. Another mutual friend of ours commented on my status... and I casually said she should join us next year (since we do it annually). My heart sunk a little as I saw her crying in the church lobby the next day. She said she was having 'friend trouble'. Agh! Man, I bet that crappy friend was me! I apologized for my stupid 'girls night out status'... and she assured me that she was not upset by it at all...
Cool! I'm off the hook. Guess I'm good. Wrong. Thankfully I didn't offend her that evening, but I still believe that was the Holy Spirit gently convicting me. Urging me to love others more. To stop and think of who I'm affecting before hitting 'post'.
Perhaps 'us christians' could use some sort of rule book for this free for all we call facebook. But more importantly, we need to ask the Holy Spirit to convict and teach our hearts how to love each other better.
Christians... even more than us hurting each other... the world is watching. There are people out there that our observing our conversation threads. It goes beyond our friends and people that are commenting... there are many silent observers.
Facebook is a battleground. It is a mighty tool in the hands of the enemy. We are 'friends' with ex-boyfriends and girlfriends for heaven's sake. Reconnecting is just a second away. Obviously the enemy of our souls doesn't have to work very hard to introduce affairs... or even seeds of discontentment this way. Christian marriage has been attacked for decades (and I'm not talking politically).
This social media world we find ourselves in has broken through the walls of our christian homes. Teens (and even parents) that can't have a conversation with people in the room because they're too busy keeping up with all of their virtual friends.
I know that the majority of my 'blog audience' are mostly church-going Christians. Brothers and sisters in the Lord that are truly trying to glorify God through their day to day lives. So my heart would be on the things that are flying under the radar in our christian culture of facebook.
Are we marked by our love for one another?
"Above all these... put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."
Colossians 3:14
Christians on facebook. This topic has stirred around in my spirit for quite some time. Sometimes I feel like we need a facebook 'rule book' of some sort... then I'm reminded of how we, as humans, let alone Christians... seem to historically have trouble following the rules. I mean... that's why Christ came, right? Because no one... not even the most righteous could ever follow all the rules...
So then, I ask the Holy Spirit to dwell in me... and teach my heart to 'follow the rules of grace'... especially under the 'facebook microscope'. I haven't always done this. I've cracked funny jokes at other's expense. I've offended people with my sense of humor. I have rolled my eyes at the way different people choose to express themselves with their status updates.
I have tried to just ignore the things that seem to 'rub me the wrong way'... but is that what I should be doing? I'm not sure...
I think that instead of ignoring things that annoy me and treating that as 'a sanctifying process' in my own life. Perhaps I should have been going to the Lord and wrestling with these topics.
"Lord... why is this so irritating to me? Is it simply because I'm still sinful and being refined? ... My pride and judgmental tendencies being put to death?" Yes... I think that's part of it.
But lately, the Lord has been prodding my heart to go deeper. Yes... certain things might annoy you on facebook. Yes, you are still sinful and being refined. But perhaps there's more. More that the Holy Spirit wants to do than sanctify us in our own little bubble. He wants to sanctify His Church as a whole. Which means we need to look at these things together. We need to start identifying the things that we are doing as the body of Christ that are not glorifying to God. Because I believe the stakes are much higher than ever. We are under a microscope.
I asked my friends to 'like' my status this morning, just so I could get an idea of how many people see the words that I write. It takes us a few seconds to post a status or a picture... then we go about our day. So over the course of my day, over 100 people saw my status. And that's on a Tuesday during the day... I'm assuming a pretty slow time in the world of facebook. Now, had my words been foolish (as I'm sure has been the case before)... that many people... friends, family,acquaintances, Christians and non-Christians, gay, straight, some that live two houses down... and some that live across the world... would've been affected by my words as I was simply going about my day. Wiping noses, making smoothies, reading to my kids... and my words are out there. Are my words (even pictures) breathing life... or throwing huge stones in the paths of others to trip on?
Just a decade or two ago things were much simpler. Let's see... In 1995 I was 15. If I wanted to get a group of friends together for my birthday I wrote out a few invitations. Now, the 'Rickards' Parties' were usually a come one come all mentality. But on occasion I would want to do something that would require that I limit the number of friends I was allowed to invite. I would always agonize about the possibility of hurt feelings or someone feeling left out... and I'm sure that over the course of my childhood that must've happened occasionally. But that's life... right? We've all had to deal with hurt feelings before. However, my mom would remind us not to talk about our fun plans in front of others that weren't invited. She wanted us to be aware of how our plans either made people feel included or excluded. Uplifted or exiled. She wanted us to simply be aware of those around us.
Fast forward to life in 2013. Many parties are planned on facebook. I know these invites can include hundreds of people... and many people do extend that 'more the merrier' mentality. But I think we should be MORE AWARE. Aware of the small birthday dinners where one or two people are left out... or even our typical groups we hang out with. There are lonely people in our midst...
I remember talking to a younger friend of mine who wasn't invited to a particular event that the majority of her friends had been invited to.
I remember thinking... 'well, you can't force people to invite you'... and I even defended the group by telling her, 'well, you really haven't been that close to 'so-and-so' lately'. But the truth was... she was hurt... and that made me sad. Sad that the only reason she even knew about the party was because her instagram and facebook feeds were flooded with images of many of her good friends all dressed up and out on the town together. Sad to learn that she had even asked a few a her friends what they were up to earlier that evening... and all she received was awkward silence.
If the truth be known... I'm sure these situations are happening on facebook everyday... among Christians. We are supposed to be known by our love for one another... yet we are hurting each other. I can say this boldly without fear of being pointed out as hypocritical... because I'm telling you I have done this. It was not my intention, but a few weeks ago I mentioned a 'girls night out' on my facebook status and tagged a few friends. Another mutual friend of ours commented on my status... and I casually said she should join us next year (since we do it annually). My heart sunk a little as I saw her crying in the church lobby the next day. She said she was having 'friend trouble'. Agh! Man, I bet that crappy friend was me! I apologized for my stupid 'girls night out status'... and she assured me that she was not upset by it at all...
Cool! I'm off the hook. Guess I'm good. Wrong. Thankfully I didn't offend her that evening, but I still believe that was the Holy Spirit gently convicting me. Urging me to love others more. To stop and think of who I'm affecting before hitting 'post'.
Perhaps 'us christians' could use some sort of rule book for this free for all we call facebook. But more importantly, we need to ask the Holy Spirit to convict and teach our hearts how to love each other better.
Christians... even more than us hurting each other... the world is watching. There are people out there that our observing our conversation threads. It goes beyond our friends and people that are commenting... there are many silent observers.
Facebook is a battleground. It is a mighty tool in the hands of the enemy. We are 'friends' with ex-boyfriends and girlfriends for heaven's sake. Reconnecting is just a second away. Obviously the enemy of our souls doesn't have to work very hard to introduce affairs... or even seeds of discontentment this way. Christian marriage has been attacked for decades (and I'm not talking politically).
This social media world we find ourselves in has broken through the walls of our christian homes. Teens (and even parents) that can't have a conversation with people in the room because they're too busy keeping up with all of their virtual friends.
I know that the majority of my 'blog audience' are mostly church-going Christians. Brothers and sisters in the Lord that are truly trying to glorify God through their day to day lives. So my heart would be on the things that are flying under the radar in our christian culture of facebook.
Are we marked by our love for one another?
What are the things that we, as Chistians, have somehow accepted as ok? Are we unintentionally injuring each other... and repelling the world at the same time? How do we portray ourselves on facebook? We have a large audience... so how are we performing?
At the very least we can be a bit self focused and over-indulgent... after all, my facebook page is all about me. But what kind of pictures are we posting of ourselves? of our spouses?
How am I displaying my marriage for the next generation? Is it beneficial to point out how hot my husband is? Would I stand up in the middle of the church lobby and draw every body's attention to how sexually attractive he is?
How do I relate to my husband via facebook? What is the purpose? Do I vent about my husband (hidden in a joke, of course)... I'm guilty.
Do I encourage and praise my husband for how godly he is when I can personally encourage him at home? What is our purpose? Is the world attracted to Christians that seem to stroke each other's egos?I'm not saying that 'public encouragement is wrong all the time... there is definitely a time and place for uplifting each other... I just believe that we need to stop and ask the Holy Spirit to purify our motives.
How do I interact with my friends? Are 'inside jokes' appropriate or do they make people feel left out?
Is it beneficial to tell our friends how gorgeous they are every time a new picture is posted?
Is it uplifting to commiserate and complain to one another when we truly have so much to be grateful for? (confession... I thought about complaining via facebook several times today,due to overwhelming allergy attacks).
Christian men... the young men of the next generation are watching you. They look up to you. Is crude or vulgar humor a legacy you want to pass on to the next generation? Open mocking and putting down? Are these the qualities of godly men?
I know I'm shooting pretty straight here... but I believe that Christians are called to much more than simply encouraging one another... we are also called to admonish and teach each other in all spiritual wisdom.
I know I can't be the only one noticing these things. Something happened recently among my facebook friends that caused a bit of division among the realms of cyberspace. What a well meaning group of people meant to do was to encourage and uplift... but what ended up happening was further division among the body of Christ. I noticed an awkward encounter on a friend's status... so I called her to make sure that she wasn't discouraged by it.
Her answer to me was that she didn't think it was a great idea... but everyone else seemed to be 'on board' so she thought... 'what's the harm?' ... sadly... I shared with her that I had thought the same thing but didn't voice my opinion for fear of always being 'the squeaky wheel'. Had both of us loved our fellow brothers and sisters enough to 'admonish with all wisdom' ... then it possibly could've saved a lot of hurt feelings. Always encouraging and never admonishing is a very dangerous road. Christians beware.
I imagine that if I stopped here... I would be rid of all my friends and readers. It seems that these issues are so prevalent that none of us have escaped without offending. But here is the good news! If facebook can be used as a weapon in the hands of the enemy... then it can be used even more powerfully in the hands of the Redeemer!
The wonderful thing about facebook is that we are able to reach more people as we walk out our christian lives together. These status updates, engagement photos and baby pictures are connecting our hearts with many people that we would otherwise never cross paths with. Beautiful and unique children of God... creatively displaying the love of Christ.
Our pictures and conversations can glorify him. Our relationships with our husband and wives can show people that they're not alone in their own struggles... and of course we can uplift and encourage as well.
Dear Christian...
Facebook is a battleground. A battle over souls that can be won for Christ. A battle over the unity of the church. A battle over the lonely... will they feel included or decide to end their lives? A battle over the back-sliding believer... are they drawn to Christ in us? Or repelled by our hypocrisy? A battle over the singles in our church who romanticise the idea of having a 'hot and godly' husband... but then flounder during their first year of marriage when they realize that 'hot doesn't cut it'... and godly is really hard work.
My goal is not to offend or discourage... but rather, shed some light on some things I believe the Holy Spirit wants to reveal. There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus... so this should not be difficult to swallow... and yes... I'm sure I will humble myself by complaining via facebook sometime in the near future (although I will try not to;)...
Christians... facebook may look like it's in the enemy territory, but let's not leave it there. Let's seek the Lord and ask his Spirit with us to convict where necessary... and give grace and freedom for the rest.
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