Thirty-one reasons I might be insane...

It was an uninspiring, muggy day... and I was in an uninspiring, muggy mood. I was forced to start taking some antidepressants again... and they certainly hadn't kicked in yet.

I've been depressed. Gaining weight. Irritable... and generally overwhelmed with life. My dear friend and life coach up in New York asked me some prodding questions. "If you could plan the perfect week for yourself, what would it be?" she asked.

"Well... umm. I guess I'd love to meet up with a friend for a play date with the kids. Have time to clean out and organize the kids rooms... and maybe go on a date with my husband?"

The silence on the other end of the line caused me to wonder... did I go overboard? Ok... just scratch the date.

"O.k..." she sighed disapprovingly. "Now, organizing Doodle's room sounds like a blast (sarcasm implied)... but let's just go crazy for a minute. What would you do if you can do ANYTHING."

"Umm... walk on the treadmill and catch a Saturday morning ballet class?" I added sheepishly.

It was somewhere during round two of dead silence that I realized that I've set my 'happiness bar' amazingly low... and even then... I'm still not reaching it.

I've been in survival mode. I know so many of you can relate. Your life gradually deteriorates to the point where a shower and a full night's sleep are a rare luxury... and before you know it, your idea of a 'crazy Friday night' is organizing your 4 year old's room... or better known as "The Doodle Habitat."

My dear friend, Meagan, chuckled... then clarified one last time. "So how about going on a shopping trip for new clothes? Or splurging on something fabulous for yourself?"

I briefly thought about how wonderful it would be to have a few new things to wear... "Ugh... I can't spend money on new clothes... I'm still trying desperately to lose weight."

Besides... we need a new kitchen floor... which has been upgraded to an emergency level project since my kids started picking out the grout from between the cracked tiles and snacking on it.

And besides... I'd much rather invest in central a.c. than extra large new clothes.

I hung up from her in a humidity induced mental funk. It was almost time for my party... "Ugh, I am not in a partying mood... but I committed to doing this 'Thirty-One Party' for a friend of mine and I've seriously been wanting some of their stuff since last summer."

The previous week had been one of my worst ever. And I definitely dropped the ball as far as throwing a fabulous party. In fact, I was the worst party thrower ever. Literally... one friend showed up... which forced me to stoop to an all time low of begging and bribing two family members. 

My Thirty-One friend was gracious... and we enjoyed catching up despite my lack of party throwing skills. The next day... I sat down to peruse through the catalogue and figure out the fabulous hostess gifts that I would earn. 

I was feeling discouraged, overwhelmed and lonely as I shifted on the couch trying to decide if the uncomfortable elastic waistband of my yoga pants should go over or under my fat roll. (I think I went with 'over'). Maybe I should just go splurge on a extra large outfit to wear until I lose this baby weight. It is pretty depressing to wear the same maternity dress for all of my public appearances. Not to mention the fact that I'm still wearing the maternity dress as I'm planning my 'baby's' first birthday in a few weeks, but that's a different story. I used to try to trick my audience by wearing different accessories to 'freshen up' the black maternity dress... but seriously, who's kidding who? So basically... I'm like the 'where's waldo' of motherhood. Hundreds of locations... always the same outfit.

As I flipped through the catalogue pages, nearing the depths of despair, my eyes caught a glimpse of the extra large utility tote... and the heavens opened up. (AHHHH...) That's it! The answer to all my problems... the extra large utility tote! I can splurge on that... it's fashionable, functional... and I can totally hide behind it! Holding that bag will take 10 pounds off for sure. Wow... I feel so much better already. 

"Man..." I thought, "Their home organizational stuff is amazing... just wish I had the extra income to get it all." 

That's when the Zoloft kicked in overdrive and I got a tad too ambitious. "I can be a Thirty-One consultant!" 

"Yes... that's the answer to all of my problems!"

Is your house chaotic and unorganized? Just invest in their cute, monogrammed storage containers! Need extra income for a new floor, a.c. unit, medical bills, car repairs, experimental back doctors and savings to make my book deal become a reality? Become a consultant! Too overwhelmed to lose weight? Hide behind that extra large tote! Lonely and in need of fellowship? Just invite yourself over to people's homes and make them throw you a party. Why didn't I think of this sooner?! 

Anyway... there you have it. I'm a new Thirty-One consultant... and am really in love with this company and their products. 

... and yes, I'm insane... but you already knew that.

So... I'm asking for help! If you're interested at all in 'Thirty-One's' fabulous bags and home stuff please contact me. I'd love to fill you in, invite myself into your home and make you throw a party for me. Or if that's a little 'too much', please stop by my home next Saturday, July 20th from 3:00- 6:00 p.m. for an Thirty-One open house. (inbox my fb account for directions). It'll be a great way to see the products (I won't be doing a presentation or forcing people to buy stuff, I'm just trying to gain exposure). 

If you're not interested in their products... then please remember me and send people my way when the topic arises. Also, if you're out of town... you could consider having an 'online party'... which is less hassle, but with all the fabulous hostess benefits.

Thankful for new inspiration, extra large tote bags and a healthy dose of Zoloft. I'll keep you updated!

You can also check out their stuff and shop HERE...