Kids These Days...
Dear 'kids these days',
1) I am so sorry for forcing you to make mud pies out of actual mud. In my efforts to be a 'fun and exciting mom' earlier this summer (and after an overwhelming battle with some pantry moths)... I decided to let you make 'mud pies' with real flour. This was a huge mistake... on many levels. But the worst of it is that you now feel entitled to make your mud pies with real flour... as oppose to real mud. For this awful lapse in parental judgment... I apologize.
2) I apologize for forcing you to play outside (with your friend that you begged to have over)... in your gorgeous, fenced-in back yard, full of toys on this beautiful August day. Perhaps I should've felt a bit guilty for locking the door and hiding in my room with a glass of wine and some dark chocolate... but never mind... I was scrubbing the dried yogurt off the kitchen floor as you pressed your cute little noses against the window... trying to get each other in trouble for hitting and calling names. I am so sorry that I ever spent an ounce of wasted guilt over locking the door... or felt the need to actually listen while you were tattling on each other. Because the truth is... you might have to be miserable for a few minutes in order to work things out with your friend... and after you give up the fight for constant entertainment and motherly affirmation... you might just notice the beautiful flowers that are begging to be put in a dainty bouquet.
3) I am so sorry that I feel the constant need to explain my decisions to you. "No, you may not go out in the front yard, because there are a lot of cars out there... and you could get hurt... and blah blah blah."
What I haven't realized is that I'm teaching you that unless YOU understand something... you can't obey. I am not teaching you to TRUST. Trust that just maybe, someone else knows better than you do. You don't always need an explanation for the 'NO's'... Life brings many unexplained no's... So here's a great environment to get used to it.
4) I am so sorry for judging your water shows before you practiced. And I'm very sorry for giving you a 10 when you didn't earn it. Seriously... you are 9 and 11 years old. I said I wouldn't give you a 10 until I saw 'pointed toes'... You never really nailed that front flip with pointed toes, but I gave you a 10 because I didn't want you to feel bad. I'm also sorry that after I told you to 'go practice for 10 minutes and let the adults talk'... that I caved when you came back after 2 minutes. You need to learn to occupy yourselves in the lavish, in-ground pool for at least 10 minutes without constant adult interaction. You now have an awful sense of time management and the dilution of pointed feet because of me.
5) I am so sorry that I ever told you that you could 'be whatever you want to be if you just believe in yourself'. This is a lie. I cannot be a supermodel, I'm not pretty enough... and you cannot be the next American Idol, because you can't sing.
6) I am sorry that you never have to patiently wait through the commercials. Sometimes... the end of the sitcom is actually worth waiting for. There's something sweet about a little anticipation... it's not a punishment.
7) I am sorry that I told you those skinny jeans look cute on you. They don't. I know most other 12 year old's are wearing them... and I know those girls eat whatever they want and still look like toothpicks... but you got your mama's thighs and your daddy's love handles... Life's not always fair.
8) I am sorry that we gave you a gift on your sister's birthday. I'm sure that made your first jr. high party a little awkward when you asked your best friend's mom where your present was.
We weren't teaching you to rejoice with others. We didn't give you a chance to learn that sometimes the joy is in the giving.
9) I'm sorry that I always made such a concerted effort to cut equal slices of cake. Life just isn't that way. You've got to learn to enjoy what you have.
10) Above all... I'm sorry about throwing you under the bus and rolling my eye's about 'kids these days'... after all... you all have at least one thing in common...
PARENTS THESE DAYS.
1) I am so sorry for forcing you to make mud pies out of actual mud. In my efforts to be a 'fun and exciting mom' earlier this summer (and after an overwhelming battle with some pantry moths)... I decided to let you make 'mud pies' with real flour. This was a huge mistake... on many levels. But the worst of it is that you now feel entitled to make your mud pies with real flour... as oppose to real mud. For this awful lapse in parental judgment... I apologize.
2) I apologize for forcing you to play outside (with your friend that you begged to have over)... in your gorgeous, fenced-in back yard, full of toys on this beautiful August day. Perhaps I should've felt a bit guilty for locking the door and hiding in my room with a glass of wine and some dark chocolate... but never mind... I was scrubbing the dried yogurt off the kitchen floor as you pressed your cute little noses against the window... trying to get each other in trouble for hitting and calling names. I am so sorry that I ever spent an ounce of wasted guilt over locking the door... or felt the need to actually listen while you were tattling on each other. Because the truth is... you might have to be miserable for a few minutes in order to work things out with your friend... and after you give up the fight for constant entertainment and motherly affirmation... you might just notice the beautiful flowers that are begging to be put in a dainty bouquet.
3) I am so sorry that I feel the constant need to explain my decisions to you. "No, you may not go out in the front yard, because there are a lot of cars out there... and you could get hurt... and blah blah blah."
What I haven't realized is that I'm teaching you that unless YOU understand something... you can't obey. I am not teaching you to TRUST. Trust that just maybe, someone else knows better than you do. You don't always need an explanation for the 'NO's'... Life brings many unexplained no's... So here's a great environment to get used to it.
4) I am so sorry for judging your water shows before you practiced. And I'm very sorry for giving you a 10 when you didn't earn it. Seriously... you are 9 and 11 years old. I said I wouldn't give you a 10 until I saw 'pointed toes'... You never really nailed that front flip with pointed toes, but I gave you a 10 because I didn't want you to feel bad. I'm also sorry that after I told you to 'go practice for 10 minutes and let the adults talk'... that I caved when you came back after 2 minutes. You need to learn to occupy yourselves in the lavish, in-ground pool for at least 10 minutes without constant adult interaction. You now have an awful sense of time management and the dilution of pointed feet because of me.
5) I am so sorry that I ever told you that you could 'be whatever you want to be if you just believe in yourself'. This is a lie. I cannot be a supermodel, I'm not pretty enough... and you cannot be the next American Idol, because you can't sing.
6) I am sorry that you never have to patiently wait through the commercials. Sometimes... the end of the sitcom is actually worth waiting for. There's something sweet about a little anticipation... it's not a punishment.
7) I am sorry that I told you those skinny jeans look cute on you. They don't. I know most other 12 year old's are wearing them... and I know those girls eat whatever they want and still look like toothpicks... but you got your mama's thighs and your daddy's love handles... Life's not always fair.
8) I am sorry that we gave you a gift on your sister's birthday. I'm sure that made your first jr. high party a little awkward when you asked your best friend's mom where your present was.
We weren't teaching you to rejoice with others. We didn't give you a chance to learn that sometimes the joy is in the giving.
9) I'm sorry that I always made such a concerted effort to cut equal slices of cake. Life just isn't that way. You've got to learn to enjoy what you have.
10) Above all... I'm sorry about throwing you under the bus and rolling my eye's about 'kids these days'... after all... you all have at least one thing in common...
PARENTS THESE DAYS.
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